I was blessed growing up to have what we would call today ‘a support group’ of two.  My maternal grandma’s sister — Ollie (short for Olive) and my maternal aunt — Orva T. (short for Orva T.)  They both had many things in common, the most common items being:  both were ‘Old Maids’ (I was always sure that the makers of the card game got the idea from my pair of queens); They both lived together in grandma’s house which they had inherited; They both loved to attend the local church (which was two doors down); and on the bad side, both of them loved to build fences.  You know the kind of fence that I am talking about, the disagreement kind of fence.  I enjoyed stopping over after school to see if anybody had baked any cookies in my absence (sometimes yes and sometimes no).  The availability of fresh baked  cookies was many times identified by how many fences there were on the premises.  Both of my aunts loved to talk to me when all the fences were up as they had few others to communicate with.  And I enjoyed the visits because I was honored by being the youngest ‘fix-it’ nephew on the block.  Whenever something broke I was consulted to ‘fix-it’.  My pair of queens even liked the ones I ‘cobbled up’ cause it was me that did it, I suppose.  It was a good relationship, all that honor given to a young guy and cookies to boot!

I talked to relatives about the ‘fences’ that so often were up at ‘the ranch’ (Dad’s nick-name for grandma’s home).  The only answer that I received that seemed to make sense was: ‘Oh, that’s just the way they are, they will never change.’  I picked that teaching up and used it in my life for several decades, even referring to myself and others with that same teaching before I found out that to a biblical Christian, that is a false teaching.  Both of my two of a kind fence-builders would have objected to the term false-teaching very quickly.  But then I remembered, they never suggested the titles of ‘fence-builders’.  I remember both of them teaching me that, “We are all supposed to love each other all the time, but sometimes it’s just hard to do.”  I learned a scripture in Ephesians 4:31-32 that fits life at the ‘ranch’.  …Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, slander and all malice be put away from among you and be kind, tender hearted, forgiving one another just as God in Christ Jesus has forgiven you…  In my own life of building fences I found several truth’s in my memorable experience with my aunts that helped me to stop building fences:  First, as a Christian I can change.  It was always amazing to me that my aunts stayed bitter for a while and then it stopped.  If asked why the change, they would say “we had a  talk.”  Second, I found out what it meant to ‘have a talk’ in my own life.  All sin, not loving God or others as He commands, is against God, Himself, and things will only go from bad to worse if I stay behind my fence and keep everyone out.  I found I needed to seek forgiveness (have a talk) with the LORD and those who I abused to ‘get right with the world’.  This gets us in tune with our lives and everyone inside and outside of the fence.

I used to think of my ‘two of a kind as just that.  Someone separated and different than myself.  In learning to forgive I have come to recognize them for what they really are in my memories.  A pair of Queens.

Upon occasion a married person either alone or as a couple come to my office for advice.  Their marriage has lost it’s steam and in their own way are each looking for an escape from the confines of their current lives.  Lately the concept of ‘emotional adultery’ has been suggested quite regularly.  An internet search reveals many in favor from the psychology side of things and not much to say on the conservative Christian side.  SOMEONE NEEDS TO WRITE ON THIS!!!!!!!  As a conservative Christian I am writing.  My limits and my influence are my own  but I hate to see things flow rapidly toward the water fall and nothing  being done.  The Emotional Adultery (E.A.) thing seems to be originated in Christian circles from a misunderstanding of Matthew 5:27-28 where Jesus is quoted as saying …….You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery; but I say to you,  that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart…….  Some are convinced that their spouse ‘crossed over’ sometime during a ‘Victoria’s Secret’ commercial last evening and is guilty of Emotional Adultery (EA).  They are convinced that adultery occurs when ever a spouse gives sexually intended stares and contemplation, and thereby passing the test for a ‘quickie’ divorce in the court of their choice.  To fall into this legalistic trap is problematic and unspiritual to say the least.  Why do I say that?  First, Christ set an impossible standard to convince us all of the exceedingly sinfulness of sin by identifying the source of all sin as one’s heart and one’s entrapment in sin without the work of the Holy Spirit of God in one’s life.  Second, all Christians are called to reach toward the goal of our righteousness to exceed that of the Jewish leaders and yes, to the righteousness of our Lord Jesus Christ.  The Beatitudes in Matthew 5:1-12, begins with a vivid description of the life each born-again Christian will reflect toward the world surrounding them (Matthew 5:13-16).  The Kingdom of God will not do away with righteousness but will establish it. (Matthew 5:17-20).  The 10 commandments is a fine place to start (Matthew 5:21-33ff)  but must continue on in the Christian’s life until that life is rooted in the love (vs 43) and perfection (vs 48) of the Father.  This can only be generated from the life of one who is indwelled by the Holy Spirit of God.  Now my question is:  ’How does divorce fit into this picture?’  It doesn’t, does it?

To go a little deeper let’s look at James 1:13-15.  Listen to this read on this:  Remember that Matthew 5:48 calls for Christians to set a goal and walk in the perfection that is only in the rhelm of God.  James 1:13 underscores the fact that God has no evil in His character and calls for the same in each of our lives.  He then explains in vs 14, faltering Christians are tempted when they are drawn away by their own lusts and when lust is conceived, it gives birth to sin and accomplished sin brings spiritual death.  Now, how does that fit into our EA senario above?  To me it sounds like there are some bad things afloat in some people’s sea of tranquility.  It sounds like our own self generated desires of evil are getting ready to bear and need all the help they can get, even if like many who are involved in Pornography voice: “I got control of it”; “it’s just a small problem that my wife doesn’t like;”  ”I can leave it at any time.”

Just a couple of observations and you perhaps will see where we are going on this:  First, I have seen many come for counsel who just want to escape the fix they have found their way into and want an easy fix.  To these Christ leaves a message.  Husbands love you wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her……….Wives be subject to your husband in all things so that he may be won without a word by your chaste behavior…….   Second, I wish I could count all the husbands who have come reluctantly for counsel but have found themselves alone in the long run.    The wife gave up because the husband had lied so much and ignored her that she felt she could not trust him and was dead sure that she was correct, just as he thought he was dead sure in his stance.   Third, just in case you question my qualifications for this article, my wife, Sharon, and I will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary this year.

This has not been a ‘happy blog’ so far and I would like to end in hope and will use 1 Corinthians 10:13 at this time…….No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man, and God is faithful, He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it…….

I was in Junior High when the following story took place.  ”Why not just tell the story, Ron”.

My best friend was Catholic (The Universal Church) and I was Lutheran (The Lutheran Church).  Dick went to ‘Confession’ and as usual, I went along with (I was supposed to remain quiet.  (But then how can a ‘PROTESTant’ remain quiet in the face of so much opposition).  I did fine in the confession of my friend’s sin until the last item.  He told the priest there wasn’t any more and I chimed in:  ”Don’t forget to tell him you played with me.”  To which Dick answered, “Oh, yeah, I played with a protestant”.  In the 50′s it was worth seven hail Marys to play with a protestant kid.  (I never asked what it would be if you dated or even married a protestant but I’m sure it would have been more than seven hail Marys).  When my buddy finished we went back outside to play (and he began on next week’s list of sins, I suppose).  We had long ago gone through the arguments about the churches.  You know how the arguments go:  ”My church is the only real church;”  ”We have the right teaching and practices;”  ”We have the strongest position and authority;”  ”But we have the most people on the membership roles;”   ” Yeah, but ours attend worship services and your’s don’t;”  etc.  An article in the newspaper Sunday got me attention and started me to think along the above lines which I thought to share with you today.

The Mormons seem to have run into trouble with Jewish people and others for the practice of ‘Baptizing for the Dead’.  As I understand it, this is the practice of immersing a serogate for another to obtain a hearing before God when they appear before Him in the resurrection.  Then to make matters worse than they are, the Mormon officials refused to withdraw the baptisms in question, and even more importantly, vowed not to do this again and then they went right back to doing the rituals.   To this I have some definite questions and a comment.  Let’s make the comment first and then on to the questions:  First, “Maybe you guys could do like me and my buddy did a long time ago, sit down and work it out.  Both of your groups like to read the Bible and that would be a good go between for you.”  Second, my questions which I write from the view point of my view of the Bible:  If I am under my own authority and responsible for my own choices (Ezekiel 18:20) how can someone take my place unless God commands it (2 Corinthians 5:21).

I have found over the years that have passed since the “Confession” days I shared with my buddy, a portion of scripture that I put before you now which heals and unites all wrongs:  Romans 5:1-2; 8-10…..Therefore having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of glory of God…….God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  Much more then, having now been justified by His blood we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.  For if while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of His son, Much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life…..

The years have been good to me because of Jesus, the Christ, I have learned a few important things concerning these things:  First, It isn’t about who is right and who is wrong (it’s all about the one true God, the perfect Word, and the life giving Holy Spirit); Second, If you are attempting to understand what someone is communicating, listen for the truth that only comes from God and strive to become like him; and last if you want to protest something it is best to keep in mind that the one who we are protesting for is Himself the one who builds and creates rather than the one who decimates and destroys haphazardly.

It was a dingy, old tool shed that stood next to the rail road track. Other than mice, bees, and other vermin, it’s occupants were rail road section hands of which I was one. It was November 1958; my Dad was at the rickety wall desk and handed me a half sheet of paper and asked, “Do you remember this?” I did not, and he explained the legalese it contained. “This is your authorization to begin permanent record of employment with this rail road that you submitted to me five years ago; I didn’t turn it in; Go find a good job when you get out of the Army.” I was on my way to Chicago to be inducted into the Army on the following Monday but still thought I was being cheated: Until I got the rest of the story several years later. There were just over 11,000 rail workers in the ‘hands-on’ system. In new contract negotiations: workers got a $3.00 raise over three years and other benefits; they also received an amazing set back of being transferred from one end of the system to the other or a lay off; the resulting layoffs reduced the amount of workers to just over 3,000 workers.

Dad was almost prophetic in his message to me in 1958 and I told him I appreciated his direction when I got home from military service.  And I also asked God’s forgiveness for the evil thoughts I had directed Dad’s way because I believed that he was ‘so against me’ in destroying my seniority sheet.

What brought on all these memories? Our local newspaper carried several articles concerning Social Security and presidential candidates recently (I should say ongoing). Like my work experience, above, I have a lot of vested interest in what happens with Social Security and Medicare. Both political parties say they are ‘for the American people’, but as a ‘small guy’ in the system of things I can’t quite believe that  millionaires think much about ‘small people’.

My story that ended in the old, rustic tool shed gave me some principles that I believe apply here: First, I saw Dad as ‘so against me’ but the truth of the matter was that he cared enough to stop me from doing harm to myself.  I know that he learned that  concern from the one true God and His Son, Jesus Christ and I pray for politicians who will become like Christ Jesus; Second,  faith doesn’t grow unless it is tested. “Count it all joy my brothers when you meet various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance, and when endurance has it’s perfect result you will be complete and lacking in nothing.”  (James 1:2-4).  Faith grows through the difficulty of the lives we live;   and Third, I learned to apply specific scripture quotes again to the problems that I encounter in life.     Listen to Psalm 46:1-3 …”God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; Though its waters roar and foam, Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride…”  (And my application to faith in 2012 = Jesus, the Christ has control of all troubles, even this).  If Christ is for us, who can be against us?

PS:  We need to remind ourselves to pray daily to bring God’s grace to bear on our problems daily instead of living in fear.

In the 1940′s several things were different than today. There was crowding (due to my home town of 900 population being the new ship yard for the U.S. government in the Illinois River valley); there was rationing (due to World War II being in progress); there were boarders (five men lived in our extra bedroom on cots and worked at the shipyard); there were war homes (block long, quickly built housing units to house workers); there were campers (some enterprising workers would offer $1.00 a day to sleep in your yard).  All of these things planted memories in my mind and could be a source of articles for later.  Today, however, I remember something that happened in the later 1940′s when I was 8 to 10 years old.  A big thing was for our family of 5 to go to the gas station.  Yes, this is not a miss print — to go to the gas station was a big thing.  Today, the biggest thing on that trip is the amount owed when the trip is complete!  Then, it was amazing! Our home town had the most attractive gas station in northern Illinois.  Our local Mobile station still had the type of gas pump that you pumped manually.  People would drive from all over the territory to have the man pump gas from the underground tank by hand and then drain it from the five gallon glass container and into the vehicle.  The man loved the extra business and pumped the gas even through there was another pump that ran electrically.  AND HERE IS THE BEST PART.  $.18 cents per gallon.  I didn’t remember it until recently looking back. But as a teenager we used to pool change to get as much as we could and buy gas so we could travel to the neighboring communities or to cruise the town.  Dad used to get upset with us on that count regularly.  ”Save your money, don’t blow it on things that won’t last.  You keep putting the gas into the tank and squandering it on crazy travel and you will never get what you need.”  Even at .18 cents per gallon I can now see that Dad was right.  The worst part is that I can see the same principles happening today.  The old term “Waste not, want not” is out of character for the world.  But I have come to find a deeper principle at work that is equally  applicable in all generations.  In my younger days I have continually been looking for something that was never there.  It took until later years for me to discover that my search was for peace of mind and not all the other things that clutter up our homes or our minds.  Jesus talks of this peace in Matthew 11:28 when He says …Come unto Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest…  Yes, I know that this is viewed by some as a worn out story that is hardly believable in today’s culture and economy.  However, to this Grandpa, Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and he will give rest to those who trust Him  and is the only one that can do this.  And yes, there is no comparison between this and .18cents per gallon gas, but then, He is the answer to all of our needs not just some of them that keep changing in one’s lifetime.

My memory was stirred yesterday when I went out to one of our Jon-a-red apple trees and picked two apples for table use.  What I got was no memory, as this is a terrible year for apples. (Almost a month of hot -90 degree plus weather with little rain and more on the way soon).  But it reminded me of a day many years ago when on a day at the farm turned into a happy event by a ‘lazy day up in the trees’.  My Dad got tired out from ‘all our help’ by mid-afternoon and sent both me and my brother Ed off to another area of the farm to play.  Ed and I chose the apple trees!  There were three of them with two being large enough to climb up into. (BUT, not one of them was big enough for the BOTH of us).  The September afternoon was memorably enjoyed by eating Jonathan apples while reclined on a tree limb for an occasional nap.  The procedure for eating apples was simple: reach up and take a small bite. If you see half a worm, spit it out. If you see a whole worm or bad spot, spit it out. If you don’t see any problem, eat it down.  What a life!!!  What a life until later.  After parts of a couple of dozen apples there was a definite tension in the abdominal area and a discomforting night while loosing those apples.

I later learned a valuable principle from this happy day event.  I have noticed that rather frequently in life that it was a standard practice to sort out the bad of my life and retain the part that I would call good without a good plan of evaluation of what is good, and what is bad.  It was at these times that definite tension occurred in my life and the lives of those around me that would create much discomfort in a variety of ways.  How can we constantly believe that it is just an accident when we fall into varying degrees of discomfort and we need to accept this as inevitable?  I have found in my life that: “There is a way which seems right to a man, but the end is a way of death” (Proverbs 14:12); “The naive believes everything. But the prudent man considers his steps.” (Proverbs 14:14).  Yes, it is more wise to seek out the truth of the matter but even more appropriate to discover it.  I have found that Jesus, the Christ is the way, the truth, and the life and that no one comes to God, the Father except through belief and a relationship with Christ, Jesus.  You can meet him in the Gospel of John some lazy afternoon. (Not up in an old apple tree).

Our family viewed a movie by the title of “Sheffey” last evening which I would suggest to you to view and discuss.  The movie is about a man in the 1800′s who received the title ‘A Servant of God’ from others and himself. It is a 2 hour and 15 minute movie but did not leave us grouping for a plot or ‘lost in the shuffle’. The film is about a Bob Sheffey who was involved in Christian work but was unauthorized by his denomination to do so.  He sought licensing as a minister but was refused. There are some good discussion points in the film for the believer to ponder. If not pondered, the film is good entertainment but not much more.  Here are some discussion points:  First, the movie seems to take an anti-denominational point of view and focus. Can just any Christian begin a godly work and operate outside the system? and if so, How will they and their family be provided for?  Second, in the last few minutes of the film, how did a prideful Bob Sheffey find himself in the same dark corner as the denominational clergy of his denomination?  His focus on what?  And last, If both liberal denominational leaders and conservative servants of God find themselves backed into the same dark corner of isolation from God, what should be our overview and outlook of our own labor for Christ Jesus?  There are more discussion points to ponder but these are enough for a good starter.

In 1974 I experienced a momentous occasion while living near Lincoln, Illinois, about to graduate from a Christian Bible College with a degree in Christian Ministries. I had obtained a ministerial preaching position in a neighboring community and was going through an Ordination service to begin Christian Ministry.

It was Sunday Evening in a minister friend’s church surrounded by friends and relatives from my close family. My minister friend (Al) was reading from the Apostle Paul’s charge to Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:1 ff:  …I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus…..preach the word….be instant, in and out of season….do the work of an Evangelist, fulfill your ministry….  Just after the reading began, I had an uncanny experience. It was as though someone behind me was tapping hard on the back with their index finger!  I turned immediately and found just as I had thought.  No one was there.  There was an open isle behind us as we sat in the church.  For a while I thought it was just an automatic reflex to the situation I was in.  Tell anyone? NO WAY!!!   Later, some suggestions occurred as far as interpretation. I began hearing from believers in various communities about experiences they had encountered. One had a vision of Christ serving communion; another spoke in ‘tounges’ in a dream;  another heard a voice which they identified as the voice of God; etc.  I learned to ask some important questions which I, in turn, asked of myself: What did he say?  In what condition did this experience leave you?  How would you describe the value of this experience to you and those around you?  My own experience led to the following: My back pok’in experience led me to ultimately believe that I was to be an Evangelist and that I could have great confidence in that mindset  because of this experience.  AND, in a couple of times when I was inspired to speak of this back pok’in experience to other people, a sense of great pride and accomplishment.

Over a period of time and much prayer and reflection I have a much better insight which I would like to share with you now:  God always seeks for us to trust Him and His power, not for self-empowerment and independence.  Hebrews 11:1 begins  …faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things NOT seen, For by it the men of old gained approval….  Chapter 11 of Hebrews finishes out citing those of the Old Testament who walked by faith and not sight / experience.  What I learned is most important in my life: we can only hear God in a few definite ways; reading or hearing His word proclaimed; and hearing His Son, Jesus, the Christ’s proclamation in His word. Beyond this, we have a tendency to become too, too creative.

I know there are some reading today who will question this conclusion as too restrictive and perhaps even out of step with open discussion, and rational thinking. But then it always boils down to just a few questions: Who are we hear’in?  What are they say’in?  and Where is your faith in all of this?

My earliest recollection it was a candy bar with lots of good stuff on it. Later it became  weekly reimbursement for services tendered. Currently I see our nation and politicians have given new meaning to the term “PAY DAY”. Our local Indy Star carried an article about Indiana lawmakers giving their closest workers thousands of dollars in extra pay (bonuses). Extra payments at the end of the year to ‘give self worth’, and ‘give workers a desire to remain in the workforce for country and our state’. When I first saw the article I was convinced it was another ‘Big Government’ article to cause problems with the Democrats. As it developed, the article did not show favorites as I thought might happen. It seems the problem is pandemic as both sides of the isle seem to have the same mentality. It set me to ‘day dreaming’: What would it take to move politics from a monetary investment we have now, to what we were taught somewhere in between Fifth Grade Social Studies and the old Davy Crockett movie  ’Davy goes to Washington’. Perhaps it could be started by explaining to those who are in line for pay increases and bonuses that if Social Security recipients and Disability recipients do not receive increase, ‘Ain’t nobody goin’ to receive more’. In fact: All politicians, all government workers, all investors, all educators, all white collar and blue collar workers. My dream kind of fits in with …do unto others as you would have them do unto you…

IMPOSSIBLE!!!  You say. I’m sure it is impossible in our world today. Which politician, or executive, or investor, or blue collar worker would be willing to go first in shaving off excess and the frosting on the cake? Stop production on a tri-fold glossy pamphlet telling how good you are and employ two or three people on unemployment to pick up trash along your favorite stretch of highway. Crazy talk, right??? Not enough good ideas, right???

If you can do better, make personal contact with a local person you know who is in the right position to make a payday count. It has to start with …doing unto others as you would have them do unto you…  A heart change is always necessary for something really good to happen.

PS:     Another dream.  Our neighborhood celebrated July 4th with fireworks this past evening.  WHAT EXUBERANCE!!!  I would venture to say that thousands of dollars were expended and went up in smoke!!!  Our pride in our nation is only exceeded by our desire to make something nice. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

When I was in the upper elementary grades in school (they call it Junior High now) a teaching occurrence happened at home. Dad had a problem with a rock in the middle of our strawberry patch which effected our strawberry crops from the word go. The rock looked to be about the size of a large 16 inch softball. (How that could cause all the ‘runted’ strawberries was beyond me). It was October and Dad had a plan which caused him to ask me if I would help. I agreed and we began work. We first began to dig up the rock of which we discovered was about the same size as a Volkswagen Bug. Dad was like he expected that and we continue to dig until we had excavated as deep as the rock and began to dig deep enough to dig a shovel’s width under the rock. Now let me qualify something: This was not a sandstone rock but what I call “Heavy rock”, a large chunk of Basalt which weighed at least a ton. How do you vacate something like that???  Dad’s comment, “Not to fear, we have just begun to fight”. Dad was a Section Forman on the local rail road and had access to old railroad ties that were in line to burn. He brought them home, we cut them up with a two man saw (see blog post titled “On Job Training with a Two Man Saw”.), and set them to burning around and over the rock. THREE DAYS THEY BURNED!!! I got to feed the fire as Dad was working most of the time. At the right time, Dad had me pour a five gallon bucket of water over the rock and CRACK……. A sizable piece of rock broke off that I could get out of the fire with a shovel (manageable at least). Dad said, “Time for another fire”. I can’t tell you how many fires we built on that rock, but over a period of time there was nothing left but a hole to be filled and new possibilities for our strawberry patch.

In looking back, I could recognize that the repetition of our rock breaking taught me a lot about persistence, but I would also state that this was a defining moment in my life when I set my goal to be like my father. I found this same principle in the life of Jesus, the Christ only in much greater measure. He observes and acknowledges His desire to be the exact representation of His father, God in Luke 22:67-71 when he was questioned by the Jewish Sanhedrin in trial for His life. The court said, …Are you the Son of God then?…and He said to them, Yes I am…..  The Sanhedrin then sought to take His life. Why? Because Christ claimed equality with God. The Jewish leaders were not so much upset with Jesus claiming relationship with God in the spiritual sense but that he also claimed to be a man who is related to God in oneness. For that, they sentenced Him to death and had the Roman soldiers to execute their judgement.

My understanding of this came to a head when I authored a few questions that I asked myself concerning my personal relationship with God the father and Christ the son: Is my greatest desire to be like Jesus?  How does this oneness relationship with the Father and Son change me?  Am I a seeker of the presence of God the Father?  The Jewish spiritual leaders of Christ’s day were totally upset with the following words of Christ which He uttered to clarify the spiritual relationship with Christ and His followers in the context of the Lord’s Supper (communion)  …this is my body, given for you….this is my blood…(also and elsewhere)…. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up in the last day… The Emblems of Christ’s body and blood in the Lord’s Supper represent a lot in my estimation. One could say, that in following Jesus, one is becoming just like Dad.